Exhaling

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Apologia - Why my conversation here is sparse and sporadic

Filed under: Uncategorized — kathryntherese at 9:35 am on Thursday, November 15, 2007

My friend Elizabeth said it well here (not the part about negative comments, though I do get those in my email Inbox at times):

The tasks I face at home while I try to educate the children God has entrusted to me are overwhelming… Anything I do or write online can only come from the bubbling over of a full life here at home; it cannot rob my home. It cannot deplete me the way conversation invariably does. Because I know that it will leave me with nothing left of me to give…

I’d like to believe that in the quiet, I’m more likely to hear God. Because that’s what I really want for my home, for my children, for my life, for my blog–incessant dialogue with God. So I’m trying here to do what seems impossible, stay little and hidden enough to serve Him in a place that is very big and very public. I’m trying to live what I believe and blog what I live.

So (though you have all been very patient with me) please don’t interpret my lack of response as a lack of interest in your comments or a lack of desire to dialogue on these topics. I enjoy this conversation very much, but my priorities have to be people and prayer or this is all just more words in cyberspace. Unnecessary and meaningless. 

My time is not my own, but what little I have to give, I give freely!

 More soon. Meanwhile, let’s continue to pray for one another.

19 Comments »

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Comment by Gabrielle

November 17, 2007 @ 5:24 pm

kt, with your houseful of children and writing projects on the go, it is understandable, and then any half-hour or hour of quieter time available during the early morning or late evening is very welcomed for prayer, or it would be impossible to stay balanced and to continue. It’s already past the middle of November; Advent is just around the corner. Every year I long for a quiet, peaceful Advent season, but it never happens, so this year, despite all the commotion at work and home with pre-Christmas activities, I am just going to take the time for myself at some point every day and do some special Advent reading and reflection, and whatever else doesn’t get done, just doesn’t get done…

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Comment by JustMe

November 19, 2007 @ 3:05 pm

Well, hopefully, it IS people who are reading our ‘blogs, kt, and the “Petit Cospirazione” (yes, two or more nationalities gathered in His name here and there.. and should that rather be “Cospirazione Petit”?) most assuredly has prayer (and contemplation) at its center. We won’t worry about individual presences or absences, for I well remember simply longing to be able to get to Mass on time so that I might receive Him (and He, me), but for years upon years, brought little girls to schools and did not rush them, hence, putting me at the Church so often just behind the Gospel. We all are busy being.

Hence, very good suggestions, G!

The other day, kt said, “If we are not mendicants, we have lost our way…” Mendicant is not the first word that springs to mind regarding the Carmelite charism, yet the first monks to follow Father Elijah, as is so for current friars, are indeed mendicant. But what I want to say is, we love that word, don’t we? Mendicant. You speak of surrender of self as being hard, and it is, but the surrender of any sense of ownership — to be voluntarily poor in solidarity with the Holy Family who was in solidarity with the poor — is incredibly hard. Yet necessary, if any would be like her Nazorean Bridegroom. (Though I cannot imagine truly begging for daily sustenance..without God’s own raid and intervention, I remain Irish light-years away from such a humility as that!)

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Comment by Pia

November 19, 2007 @ 6:38 pm

when someone chooses to be a regular “friend”, he/she stops by every so often and checks to see if maybe there is a surprise (I don’t do rss feeds, don’t know how, lol). there are some folks who are just part of the piccola cospirazione, and it will always be so, no matter what. So don’t worry. whatever gets done, gets done and what does not, does not. nessun problema!

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Comment by gabrielle

November 20, 2007 @ 2:56 am

Speaking of little conspirators, I may have missed it, but did Ann ever receive an official invitation? What I’m really getting at, I suppose, is, what do you think she might bring for dessert? :) Gosh, I hope she doesn’t think I’m mendicanting.

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Comment by kathryntherese

November 20, 2007 @ 8:58 am

Ann, here is your official invitation. What WILL you bring for dessert? Tea and scones?

Everything in cyberspace is calorie-free, so we can dream big - cheesecake and dark chocolate all around. I just bought a lovely port for the holidays and I would love to sip it with my co-conspirators as we anticipate the victory that has already been won!

There is so much surging up inside of me, begging to be written, and I am waiting for the wave to recede so that I can see what little treasures it leaves on the shore of my rocky soul - I am only able to write those little bits of debris. The Wave must necessarily remain unwritten it seems.

Perhaps there will be some little shell or shiny rock worth presenting to my friends here…

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Comment by Ann

November 20, 2007 @ 9:28 am

Well I guess you would expect something Irish, so I’ll maybe conjure up some scones with strawberry jam and a little dollop of fresh cream, or melt-in-the mouth shortbread or bramley apple pie - Amnagh is our orchard county - and of course a lovely cup of tea…and then maybe later some Bewley’s coffee?

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Comment by JustMe4CalorieFree

November 20, 2007 @ 12:19 pm

Oh, mendicant away, G! I’ll not stop ye.

I love your wave analogy, kt.. I just love it.

Ah, the Irish - munificent as always. Ireland is the land of 100,000 calories..wait..I may have it wrong.

Pia, the “piccola” has stumped me. Does that mean evergreen?

:-)

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Comment by JustMe

November 20, 2007 @ 12:36 pm

I can resist anything but temptation, and thus am forever stuffing my soul, so my RSS feed list has been made very, very small. If I can’t get to wherever from the links on that handful of your sites, then surely I ought not to go there. (There’s a little orange block above on most every website page that opens now, Pia — you’ll see that it has a down arrow beside it. Click on that and then click RSS or Atom to subscribe to a page’s feed; after that, when you click on the star while on any page at all, it’ll open your feed list, and you can see what’s been updated (it will be in bold font).

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Comment by Gabrielle

November 21, 2007 @ 2:35 am

I’m so glad I asked! I just had a feeling about Ann’s baking skills! Looking forward to tasting a little bit of everything as we examine all the shells and shiny rocks. If The Wave returns though, I’m hightailing it to the top of a dune with the scones!

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Comment by JustSconelessMe

November 21, 2007 @ 4:38 pm

ROFL, G! We’ll trust you to divide them up evenly.

(Oh dear, I could’ve sworn I sent something about how yummy Ann’s dowry sounds? People make shortbread? Holy mackerel, I’d thought God tinned it up and sent it earthward. Is it legal to dunk shortbread in coffee when across the pond?)

Happy Thanksgiving to all who see this. And/or happy Thursday, to those for whom this is not a holiday.

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Comment by Elizabeth

November 22, 2007 @ 8:01 am

Kathryn,
I sat to comment, feeling a bit out of place in the midst of poets, wondered how I’d express myself, and heard the baby cry. So, there you go. I’m reading your words, thinking of you, praying for you, and off to nurse my baby. Much love to you!

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Comment by gabrielle

November 27, 2007 @ 11:17 pm

Could somebody pass the jam, please? Zut, alors, my tea is cold now. :)

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Comment by kathryntherese

November 28, 2007 @ 4:02 pm

Gabrielle, your tea is not the only thing that is cold here! I am freezing here in the dark…
Could someone light a candle? Light my way?

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Comment by gabrielle

November 29, 2007 @ 1:50 am

I’ll be right back with the propane burner. Don’t go anywhere.

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Comment by JustMe

November 30, 2007 @ 12:49 am

I didn’t realize that Zut and Alors were part of the Cospirazione. Welcome, kids. Well, now I know what to name the goldfish. If I had some.

KT, there are a great many soot marks on the monitor here.. apparently, candles are unable to pass through. I’ll be gone by the time G returns with a propane burner (having walked into a friend’s house just as her father was putting out his eyebrows with a wet dishcloth spoke volumes to such as me), but.. why don’t you just come on out and play? The sun’s out, life is short, and you love to laugh. Certainly love is not all work. Oh, I wish we lived closer. I’d come steal you away now and then for some good coffee and some mighty bad bowling.

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Comment by Gabrielle

December 1, 2007 @ 11:54 pm

I think Zut and Alors are superb names for goldfish. Twenty minutes after you bring them home from the store, you can say, Zut, Alors, they’re dead. :)

Can’t find the propane burner, but I do have a trusted flashlight, somewhere. I’ll keep score, okay?I’m not allowed to bowl anymore; I’ve wounded too many people.

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Comment by JustMe

December 2, 2007 @ 1:42 am

ROFL!

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Comment by phil

December 2, 2007 @ 12:45 pm

Hello

How are you?

I was wondering if you would be willing to come and speak at Connect again. If yes, could you speak on Pope Benedict’s new encyclical? If yes, are you available Jan. 30th?

Email me

thanks.

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Comment by JustMe

December 2, 2007 @ 9:40 pm

Ah, that explains it, kt.

And what is Connect?

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