Exhaling

Comment by gypsy

May 31, 2007 @ 11:45 am

Sirach has some positives to say of grey, and it’s a nice neutral shade for wardrobes, but grey is the color of x-rays, most dreams, and of poverty (undershorn stubble, broken teeth, walls, cushions, food, people living without sun/vitamin D, and my winter coat for years), so grey is not something I rush toward, but yes, implying the presence of light, grey’s not something I rush away from, either. Grey can actually be a nice surprise –applying white crayon to black construction paper allows one to end up with a softer kitten than initially hoped. My pre-dawn is brown, but yes, fog is varying shades of grey alone, so I’ll pray for you.

Comment by kathryntherese

May 31, 2007 @ 12:22 pm

It has always been the grey that is most difficult for me, I think. There is nothing to engage here, nothing to distract.

My skull seems drained of the concepts I once enjoyed contemplating and which were like a friendly crowd with whom I could converse. My memory seems locked up and inaccessible.

But I know I am not alone. You are all here, and He is here. So I open myself to each person before me and encounter Him within them.

God is more mystery than clarity. We need not understand what is going on for it to be right. And Mystery demands more trust than certainty.

This has often happened to me just before I write, and I do have a project in mind. Perhaps God is concentrating my energies…

Comment by gypsy

May 31, 2007 @ 5:22 pm

Like filings to a Magnet.
I’ll hope so.

Comment by fmn

June 4, 2007 @ 3:55 pm

Praying for you KT. Grey is an insipid color and I am all wrapped up in it. I read your posts often but I don’t comment because my mind is fogged up as well and it seems as though I have nothing to contribute. But I am content to just absorb any light I can get, anywhere I can get it. Sometimes it’s what we need to do.

Comment by gypsy

June 5, 2007 @ 5:12 pm

Great.. now I have to look up “insipid,” too. It sounds like you need a prayer as well, FMN. I’ll light my tornado candle, and pray for you and you.. and you.. and you. It never casts much light, but it may help take the sting out of the grey that waiting always is.

Comment by forget me not

June 6, 2007 @ 11:00 am

Well, it’s not so bad, really. It is a waiting time, though, sort of like marking time before marching off again in some new endeavor. Right now I am laying low…and maybe you should too, considering the weather picture of late.

Comment by phil dolci

June 7, 2007 @ 8:20 am

I am enjoying the blog!!

thanks for the invite!

Phil
Connect Young Adult Fellowship

Comment by Gabrielle

June 7, 2007 @ 11:36 am

kt, I’m sure there is the spiritual aspect of it which could be discussed here, of course, but also, I think the grayness signifies something positive, a way of being that is intrinsic to the creative person. Lateral thinking, perhaps, or the inability, as a creative person, to be satisfied with the black and white as a means of expression (without in any way denying the Absolute vs the relative). Do you know what I mean? And out of this grayness, which contains all that we absorb intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, intuitively, emerges the art. And dare I say, I believe this grayness, in which the Lord desires to instruct us as to whether we should add light to the dark or dark to the light, is very feminine in nature.

Comment by kathryntherese

June 7, 2007 @ 11:52 am

Well, leave it to Gabrielle to give us the positive spin. What you have said is true.

And very often, I find myself in this limbo (are we allowed to use that analogy anymore?) of grey before something beautiful surfaces from within. Either spiritually or creatively. I must simply accept the grey - accept my intrinsic emptiness, as it were - and offer it back to Him. In this emptiness, we can be even more open to Him, because we are longing for something we cannot find within ourselves - we see in a new way that everything is from Him.

Light is beginning to break on this darkness, though. It seems to me that words will begin to flow soon…

God willing.

Comment by Gabrielle

June 8, 2007 @ 12:20 am

Just after I had pressed the “submit comment” button, I thought, my goodness, it’s just like being in limbo. Tee hee. There. We’ve said it.

Comment by gypsy

June 8, 2007 @ 2:19 am

(Stamps foot and refuses to love grey..it’s a holdover from leaving the hospital with a little mother whose hair, face and sweater were all horrible shades of grey, which one lived ok with until the faces of others in the waiting room registered shock and pity, and one wanted to (very femininely) throttle them for risking the stealing of her last hope which was to last less than 24 hours. But you’ve all capped it pretty well by suggesting that grey is the color of pondering in one’s heart.. and now I can forgive those compassionate souls in the waiting room for allowing either of us to hear their sudden silence. I guess grey is the color of forgiveness, too. I will tolerate it.)

I’m glad you’re ok, kt, I was beginning to worry.. yes, may/let the words flow.

Gabrielle, you have such an intelligent way of speaking of softer kittens.

FMN, don’t lay low for too long.

Comment by gypsy

June 8, 2007 @ 10:31 am

I just popped in to see what I think when it all goes quiet here, after picking up a young lady from work around midnight and then marveling that she can talk for so long on the phone (an hour!) We’ll do it all again tomorrow.. and boy, I see I’m kinda weird at 2.

Limbo, yes –there’s a word that’s neither here nor there, G. And your lines about adding light to the dark, or dark to the light, are waiting to be dissected. I’ve mislaid my scalpel, parafin tray and pins - so I’ll be the one to take notes..

Comment by Gabrielle

June 11, 2007 @ 12:48 am

I’ve been trying to get back here for about three hours - got called away and have returned to this empty combox (I speak of my own little white square on my monitor). Now I can only remember two things of what I was going to say. One was, gypsy, I don’t know what you mean when you say I speak of softer kittens, but it sounds nice.

The other was, kt, you say that you are in a limbo of grey, waiting for something beautiful to surface from within. But when I look at the whole month of May on your site, dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary, with one amazing post after the other, I cannot help but think that it has already surfaced. Maybe there is something else brewing underneath, or maybe it’s just easier for someone else to see it than you, but to me, all of your May posts combined would be a fine contribution to the Marian bookshelf.

Comment by gypsy

June 13, 2007 @ 7:46 am

Indeed, I think we all agree on that.

Comment by kathryntherese

June 13, 2007 @ 12:02 pm

As always, you all have given me food for thought and encouragement to continue thinking and writing…

Gabrielle, didn’t I accuse you before of confirming God’s will for me? And you have done so again. Just recently, my pastor repeated that he thought I might write something abour Mary (”We could use something solid and less sentimental perhaps,” he grinned.). Perhaps that will happen.

The new little project I have in mind is something else for children: a book for Eucharistic Adoration. Does anyone know of anything like that available? I’ve only seen one.

The fog is lifting. The words are flowing. And I thank you and your prayers for that, asking your continued prayers for God’s will regarding this new little book.

I’ll be posting something new very soon.

Comment by gypsy

June 13, 2007 @ 10:50 pm

I’ve not seen any, but when I see yours, I’ll pass it along to our parish! Rather than further watch kids somersault and whiz Matchbox cars and Cheerios along the top step to the Tabernacle during Mass (there are seats out in the Chapel of the Blessed Sacrament), I’d offered our pastor my leading a family Adoration hour at any time he thought would work well.. he wasn’t interested in that (years later, we are holding steady at 4 hrs. of Adoration on the first Friday of the month), but if I happen to give a few of these books to the Children’s Liturgy folks, and/or to the new RCIA folks, well.. who knows what could happen..

I’m glad the fog is lifting, and the Son’s coming out!

Comment by Ann

June 14, 2007 @ 1:33 pm

Word: Sunrise Irish: éirí na gréine Pronunciation: eye-ree na gray-ne

Comment by Gabrielle

June 19, 2007 @ 10:22 pm

I cannot recall any particular books on Eucharistic Adoration for children. I think it’s a wonderful idea.