Exhaling

Comment by Carol

April 20, 2007 @ 12:39 am

I think I have learned to see Him even in the catsup bottle, the shaft of sunlight, and certainly in a little arm wrapping around mine and a little head resting on it.. but I really don’t like domesticity. Not at all. Nor routine, nor stationariness, nor the thousand imprisonments my life has mostly been. It just seemed His will as best I could discern, and/or my duty. So I keep plugging away, tho’ I no longer think as wife, mother, or friend as I used to. Only that which is lived from Him exists for me to a recognizable degree, it seems. I simply am what I yam. An exile.

Freed into slavery long ago, it seems.. but for His sake, I’d rather surprise Him. As for crosses, they’ve been so few and far between — the last was 2 years ago; overall, it seems I was to be, and hopefully am, a Carol of Cyrene.

Comment by Carol

April 20, 2007 @ 11:24 am

And apologetically, this is what happens whenever I don’t blog.. I yammer, yammer, bleed, rejoice, and I-me-mine all over comboxes, like a wounded deer. Embarrassing, but I hope my 2 cents’ worth is good for something, even if only it helps some to dare to dialog, or even to be more glad they are they, and aren’t me.

Indeed, more is accomplished in one moment of life lived in holy spiritual communion with Him and others, than in all the long day of laboring for a thousand greater goods (or to keep dust and clutter down to a dull roar). And that’s the very good news.. the veil is torn in half, and there are no brick walls between us and the Master, ever. One has a Tabernacle inside, an ineffable Holy of Holies established very near my dreadful little heart. It boggles the mind.. especially if we do not live from there at all times. That’s where Love is, and Light, and Peace. Serenity. Victory. Unity.

So often throughout the day, I wish I could make Him more present to others. Maybe that wish alone, does. Maybe that’s why so many smile at me. Maybe that’s why a teeny little superguy comes over to hug my arm every now and then, or to nuzzle my cheek. I hope so. I would certainly give to all these the Lord.