Keep going forward.
Like St Paul, we must keep “forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead” (Phil 3:13). We have a tendency sometimes to examine our consciences or our pasts too closely, and then we risk becoming terrified that we are missing something, that we have done nothing pure in God’s sight, even that we need to confess again what we’ve already confessed because we see it more clearly now and it seems even worse than we thought; as if we need to explain every nuance of our sin before it can be fully forgiven, or that we will never move forward unless every scrap of the past is “cleaned up.”
But no. This is only a temptation to remain focused on ourselves and distract our attention from God, from His will, from His work. Because God truly does cast all our sins behind His back (Isaiah 38:17), so we should not keep running back and holding them before us again. He does not demand that our past remain our present; He calls us forward to walk in newness. He does not demand that we go back again and again to scrutinize every detail of our motivation and culpability in each sin; He tells us simply, “Go, and sin no more” (Jn 8:11).
We should simply go, and sin no more.
There is no room in a heart that has accepted the grace of forgiveness for looking back or trying to convince others (or herself) how horrible her sins have been; in embracing the gift of mercy, our hearts are too filled with grateful rejoicing in love. This gratitude and love spur us on to praise Him and joyfully serve others.
Looking back at the sins already forgiven, wondering if we are really free, only keeps us in bondage to them. This new “slavery to sin” (Jn 8:34) constricts our ability to move forward on the path to Him, to serve others for love of Him, to seek His Kingdom first. It keeps us small and crawling.
But He wants us to soar.The freedom offered to us is so complete that even the TRUTH about our past cannot obstruct the radiant Truth of now – right now, He is loving us; right now, He is saving us; right now, He is calling us into the light of His presence and into the peace of His Kingdom, where His Heart – human and divine- reigns with mercy eternally.
Right now, we must reject the temptation to look back.
Right now, we must ask for the grace to keep our eyes on HIM.
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